"I will show you fear in a hand full of dust". No enemy lasts forever.
It gladdens me to know that she feels safe enough to leave personal thoughts lying around for me to find.
My attention casually moves to the book and notice she has left a bookmark inside the work. Another smile...
My attention is held totally by the book now, specifically the page she bookmarked and I begin to read.
"Hello Charles."
The tone is firm and strong, the words are clear and imposed with a practised accent, the voice unmistakable...The voice of my sire.
I stand quickly and turn to face him, falling to my knees before him in a show of subservience.
I feel the unmistakable grip of a leather gloved hand on my shoulder, firm but supportive.
"Rise my Childe."
I stand and look at my sire, allowing a little smile to lighten my face. Before me my sire stands in all his glory, his face is aristocratic and adorned with fairly modern sunglasses. He is wearing a plain suit jacket over a simple grey shirt covering his robust form. He is wearing his signature leather gloves and has a rosary in his left hand.
I stand and begin to speak our traditional greeting. "My blood is your blood; you are the fount from which my existence springs forth. What is thy bidding?"
He smiles and rotates the rosary beads a little.
"So my Childe, two apprentices in two short years."
His tone is flat and barren, making it very difficult to decide if the sentence is a statement or a question.
I nod.
"Yes indeed. An apprentice of passion first, an apprentice of potential and intellect second...Like Dracula himself."
He smiles a wide toothy grin. I know he is inspecting me from under his sunglasses, dissecting my thoughts in a swiftian fashion.
"Violet McCann and Susanah Ginn...Both are worthy of your attention?"
This time it is obvious that it's a question. His head tilts a little to the side, still inspecting, still dissecting.
"They are. Violet is passionate and provides an anchor for the beginning of our journey; she is a reminder that we were once human. Her desire to do good ignites a flame in my soul and for that I love her. Susanah is a flower that is yet to bud; her potential and intellect are great. Once she is encouraged to open her potential her mind can provide great things, after you and me she is the brightest person I have ever met."
As I speak my sire's head gradually shifts from its tilt back to its usual position.
"I have watched them both..."
His voice trails off as he waits for my reaction.
"I understand." I say.
"You have your council Charles. It is time to rise. The Order needs you."
His tone is encouraging and strong.
"Yes my Sire."
For the first time since his arrival I see a little flinch on his practiced features.
"You have known me since you were a boy Charles. You can call me by my name."
I turn to my desk and collect a plainly wrapped present, inside is one of the remaining twelve copies of Tamerlane and Other Poems by Edgar Allen Poe.
I smile at my sire and hold out the gift.
"In honour of my sire, Edward Akerley."
OOC
Music
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzP7
Not really wrote much about Unwin's sire. From day one he was called Edward Akerley in homage to Andy R's old Masquerade character.
- Mood:indescribable
In an alley on the outskirts of Wakefield. I don't know why I was there. I was wandering the night.
When it started I thought about trying to stop it. Trying to help,I don't know why I didn't.
As I looked at the attacker I saw his children, thin and hungry. I saw him begging for a job, begging for money.
I saw desperation.
In the end he is better than me. He has a reason to steal, a reason to fight.
Sometimes I steal what I "need" because I like it.
He needs food for his children. I don't need much blood...I LIKE blood.
I even thought about preying on this man. Seeing what his desperation and love tasted like...
The thought only lasted a second...Sometimes I am ashamed of what I am.
My sire said to me once "With sight comes understanding, with understanding comes sadness."
I am very sad.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p25DfTCu
- Mood:
sympathetic
He is here.
He wants me. I am running but I know it's futile.
The Dragon roars behind me.
He wants my soul.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Az_
- Mood:
scared
They come to me looking for hope. Looking for a bright future...
Do I send them away with that?
Miss Havisham indeed.
Believe this: when she first came to me, I meant to save her from misery like my own. At first I meant no more. But as she grew, and promised to be very beautiful, I gradually did worse, and with my praises, and with my jewels, and with my teachings, and with this figure of myself always before her a warning to back and point my lessons, I stole her heart away and put ice in its place.
- Mood:
contemplative
Shackled in the cave.
I see the shadows and know they are not real.
My soul seeps through the shackles.
It coils tight ready to burst from the cave.
Straight to the Light.
OOC
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCjh0RwB
- Mood:
touched
When she opens her eyes she will realise that she stands on the shoulders of giants.
By my side.
My chosen one.
OOC
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HP61zFna
- Mood: satisfied
"Please Dr Redfearn! Stay with me! I forgive you!"
Tears are building up in my eyes as I look down at his almost gleeful face.
"No Professor I refuse. I win." He gasps through a painful spasm.
I shake him a little.
"Remember the things we've done. The things we still can do! Just heal!" I yell at him.
He looks at me with an almost serene smile.
"I win. Will it stop Professor? The buzzing...Will it stop?!"
With that his soul finally crumbles and that decay spreads to his flesh.
Tears stream down my face as his body crumbles in my arms.
I scream.
I awaken in my haven still screaming, still crying.
I can hear the wild whispering to me. Saying dark and terrible things, making promises I cannot resist.
I draw ever closer to Violet, going from shadow to twisted tree. I can smell her...Oh I can smell her.
She is smiling and smelling the wild flowers. Ignorant to what I am about to do. GOOD! The prey should not know...
The urge to pounce wells in my gut. I can feel the power it gives me surging through my limbs...
As I take the final few steps I let out a scream, bestial and guttural.
RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!
My eyes open just as my teeth brush her skin. I am in my haven and the scream is very real...I am covered in blood sweat and I know it is day outside.
I force myself to stay awake. Willing it. Dominating the very beast that demands rest.
As my scream subsides and I come to my senses...I look over at Violet who is still asleep in my bed and begin to weep.
OOC
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WEYaUq3m
- Location:The depths of Unwins' subconcious
- Mood: scared
- Music:Follow the link
I have just returned from mediating a duel.
I saw Mr Loken fight for the first time. His savagery is unbound. In a time where might makes right he would rule the world.
I cannot help be be impressed by his prowess. All should fear the presence of Hakon Loken for his ferocity is great.
He is a warrior-prince worthy of much respect.
I shall no longer fear for my life when Mr Loken is with me. His honour is proven.
OOC
Music for this one - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfsmuwXN
- Location:Unwin's Haven
- Mood: impressed
- Music:See above
Violet just left.
I miss her already. She and I shared a bed for the first time yesterday, we didn't make love but as soon as I climbed in next her I knew that I love her more than I have ever loved before.
As always the fear has set in. What if she dies? What if she disappears? What if she stops loving me?
My vanity tells me that I have planned it all out carefully. It tells me that I've taught her to be careful, that she will always love me because I am one of the greatest men to have ever lived.
But have I been careful enough? Am I really that great? 120 years and only an initiate...Perhaps I am simply average.
120 years from now I shall be climbing into bed with Violet. Even if she has passed physically from this world...
She is my reflection.
OOC
Music for this one - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IuezNswtR
- Location:Unwin's Haven
- Mood: happy
- Music:See Above
OOC
This one a bit fucked up. Don't say I didn't warn you if you read it!
Music befitting this one!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOcbv8lkF
http://www.last.fm/music/The+Mission/_/A
IC
I sit here alone. A letter on my reading table. A half finished magic circle in front of me. The Lesser Key open in my left hand, my ritual dagger in my right.
If only Sir Nicholas knew. If only Violet knew. If only they all knew what I have done....
The last time I held this dagger....
----------------------------------------
"Please Charles! Tell them to let go of me! What are you doing?"
Mary cried.
"Hold her in the circle. Take her clothes off and hold her."
I replied.
The two burly men did just that. They dragged Mary into the circle, kicking and screaming. I'd show her who is a coward! War brings nothing! This is POWER!
I started to disrobe.
"Hold her face down on the floor. Make sure not one part of her body leaves the circle."
With that I started the ritual. I held my ritual dagger in my right hand...This one would need my blood and a greater sacrifice.
"Please Charles! Make them stop! You said you loved me!"
Mary cried out.
"I do love you. I am no coward. This is power!"
I stepped into the circle with her and aligned my hips at the correct angle so my penis was aimed correctly.
"Charles! Please! NO!"
Mary yells.
"Silence her!"
I order the men.
The largest one stuffs a filthy rag in her mouth.
Then I begin, lunging forward with my hips penetrating her anus. I cut my left hand with the dagger in my right.
After that all I remember is the muffled screams.
----------------------------------------
A single tear runs down my left cheek. My right hand is bleeding as I squeeze the blade of the dagger in my right hand.
"I'm so sorry Mary...."
There is no answer, just the silence of the night.
- Location:Unwin's Haven
- Mood: uncomfortable
- Music:See above
OOC Music for this first part. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60dwBIypf
IC
My spirit soars! I am unfettered and free...I see the world how it should be! I see all things in heaven and on earth and more importantly I understand them!
My friends are with me unfettered. Dr Waldman is here his eyes are closed but he is here! Dr Redfearn is fiddling with his insects; he is smiling because now he understands them. But most importantly Violet is here...Our spirits intermingle as we speed across the world.
Days pass like seconds yet we understand every thought and every action that takes place. Every tree that falls we see, every star that is born we rejoice. Time is no obstacle, we have seen the end and the beginning and they are one.
I KNOW EVERYTHING! I am everything.
I am the wind and the sky. I am the future and the past...I am the rain and the earth.
I am the rain...I fall from the clouds; millions of me. Drip...Drip...Drip...I see...I see...
Drip....Drip...Drip...
SPLASH!
OOC Music for the 2nd part. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tluogv9EG
My eyes shoot open at the sound of the water dripping. I am in my tin bath and I am alone. The water is cold and has been for hours. Discarded sugar cubes and absinthe bottles surround the bath and a faint smell of lotus still lingers in the room.
I shift a little and my muscles tell me that I have been in this postion for hours.
The room is quiet and dark.
Drip...Drip...Drip...
I am alone. The water is cold and I am alone.
- Location:Trip out city and Unwin's Haven
- Mood:awake
- Music:Various
Well I told Violet how I feel. She still has hope and in some ways that's infectious...
I guess I'm not so old that the opinions of those close to me can't affect me. That's a good sign.
We went to one of our old haunts recently...The woods where she had her first chrysalis. It felt nice to sit and talk with her, but the feeling was always there...It still is. I am old and those younger than me cannot understand me nor I them. I begin to understand how the Elders become what they are. Jaded, bitter, wicked creatures bent on their own enjoyment.
I WILL NOT be like them. I will become something more.
Eleanor Metcalf is a mystery to me, she is educated, and she has the strength of will to keep a tattoo. She has fire in her belly but her methods of expressing that fire vex me greatly. She could be so much more, if she reached out and took it for herself. She clings to some warped sense of the greater good...The Carthian Movement is to Kindred society what wildfire is to the brush lands of Australia, wild and uncontrollable, pushing and pulling in every direction.
Chaos is NOT positive change.
Jorgen is still enamored with youth...I think he likes being Kindred but that will change when he sees the life he had face the ravages of time when he does not. He is a good young man at heart, but like most Gangrel there is a rage in him that threatens everything he does. There is something between him and Eleanor Metcalf...And Danny Kovacs for that matter.
The Mekhet in me demands to know the truth of it. The conscience in me tells me to help...To what do I listen?
OOC
Some music to go with this entry.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HY7wuV_C1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4CgWhNSD3
- Location:The mind of Unwin
- Mood: melancholy
- Music:See the post
A music link to supplement my ealier post.
Short but suits Unwin's current mindset.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldGv7SWYv
Cheers
RichJ
- Mood:artistic
I know it's bad English to start a sentence with the word "and", but it's the only way to begin.
It is the year or our Lord 2008 and I am 128 years old. The world around me is changed, yet many things about me are the same. I see the street corners, crowded with children most of them drunk. All of them illiterate and I wonder how the human race came to this...
I try to do what I can, some young people do want more for themselves and it is those people I help...I'm never sure if it is enough.
Even my own people are often a mystery to me. The Kindred...They are all so young...I hear the Kindred who profess themselves to be female. Yet every sentence is filled with profanity...Enough to make a whore blush. I went to a Carthian party recently...I expected politics...I am starting to believe more and more that the Carthian Movement is a sham, a charade.
Thank God for Wakefield, it understands me. Thank God for Violet...She understands me...
Perhaps I'll write more soon...I am sure even this amuses my sire.
There are people around me but I am alone.
OOC
There, I thought I'd try this IC LJ thing!
Not sure I am good at it but hey...
RichJ
- Mood: contemplative
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